That was the first thought I had a little over a month ago as I drove my eldest kiddo, who we affectionately call Barnacle, back from a doctor’s appointment in Massachusetts. I was driving as I got confirmation that the paperwork was finalized. That meaning my husband had once again signed his time, and his life to the Military of the United States of America. We had compromised ~ this time it would be the Reserves. He had already done 6 years Active with the Air Force, which included 2 tours. A different story for another day is how the majority of our relationship in the beginning Dear Hubs was still stationed in Germany. The running joke is we actually only ever had 2 dates – they just happened to be ten days long each during leave.
Now this isn’t my first rodeo with the military arena. I’ve had friends who were in the service, and still are, since high school. My grandfather, and my dad are also Veterans. And in my swinging single days, I even dated a few good Sirs who had also devoted time to the military. From conversations and observations over the last several years I have found there’s a gap. A huge gap in fact. A chasm. The Reserves and the National Guard lack a sense of community that you find elsewhere within the military. Being intermingled with civilians this grouping ens up in “limbo land” or as I refer to it Fringe Land. And this happens in different ways for spouses and for the Veterans or this grouping of weekend warriors. Tis’ a bit annoying and isolating to say the least. I’m a Leo and if you know anything about astrological signs, Leos don’t do isolation. We don’t do inadequate standards or expectations and we sure as heck don’t leave things a mess without trying to find a solution and make things better.
To circle back for a minute regarding my first question.. you know the one where I asked How did I end up HERE? I don’t know about you but this conversation about “…going back…” had been a multi-visit thing between Dear Hubs and I. This occurrence is something I’ve heard many who have separated talk about with their significant others or spouses and it comes and goes and comes and goes and we play this dance until something finally gives. —- Somehow this time it went the furthest its gone and could go. And here I am …. still trying to wrap my head around the paperwork, the schedule shifting, the shifting of parental/family activities that will take place. And it’s not that we didn’t know this was part of the game; but, perhaps this is one of the lesser talked about situations. The change over from esoterically known to actual reality transitions. I use the term “fringe service” because the wives, husbands, family members of those in the Guard and the Reserves end up on the fringes. Information trickles down more slowly, military community is all but fringe like.
And that’s where this Blog, the FB Page and myself come in. My Homebase – this IS my homebase. I hope it can be yours too. I want it to be yours. I want to get to know you – your military experiences and your civilian experiences. From one fringe wife to another, from one fringe wife and fringe service member to other fringe service members. Our struggle as a couple switching from 24/7 military life to civilian to Reserve Military has been a journey and that latter is only beginning. I want to chat, I want to share our gripes, our gains, and our story with you. YOU are welcome here. Whatever your background, whatever the branch, whether you’re THE service member or the support network that keeps home running and functioning YOU are welcome and celbrated here.
I can’t wait to get to know more of My Homebase-ers! 
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